When I am emperor, I will make everyone who refers to women’s leg hair removal as “basic hygiene” fight to the death in my coliseum.
finally it will be understood that I am doing it not for hygiene but for slut reasons
sluts are welcome in my empire, be they hairy or smooth
Confused, but cautiously willing to welcome these slippery people into my empire so long as I can put down some plastic drop clothes over the couches before they sit down, and provided they do not become evangelical or moralizing about their thigh slime. (Why stop at thighs? Why not emulate the valiant eel and opt for a full mucusoid coat?)
This probably refers to people whose thighs touch and chafe when they’re wearing shorts or skirts
Aww, and here I was planning an imperial holiday called Slime Fest, with mandatory public slimings.
Very well, anti-chafing measures are permissible. I want my subjects to be comfortable (when they are not fighting to the death obviously).
your highness can we still have slime fest?
*imperial majesty thx
Imperial majesty, can we still have the slime fest?
hmmmmmm
no I’m too sad that the eel people don’t exist and I shall declare an Imperial Day of Sulking instead
all are welcome
The imperial Majesty Sulking
for three hours each day we will open the doors of the palace to the public so that my subjects may view their emperor sulking about the eel people from the royal observation chamber
there will be hors d'oeuvre
Imperial Majesty, bring back Slime Fest or the people shall revolt
don’t threaten me with a good time
writers will really have a doc titled ‘fic planning’ and then it’s just blank
writers will say “i’m going to write!” and then do something else with the doc open in the background
writers will literally put out the most heart-wrenching and devastating piece of fiction that’s a million times better than the source and go haha hope you liked :)
writers will have a life changing event happen to them (married, natural disaster, accident etc etc) and then still manage to put out an incredible fic and go ‘sorry this was 0.394838373 seconds late guys :(‘
writers will go ‘love writing!’ and then don’t write for 10 years
anyway i love writing and i love writers
now hold on a goddamned second
writers will complain about this post while continuing to not write
Helmcken Falls, Wells Gray Provincial Park in British Columbia, Canada.
An enormous "ice crater" got formed at the bottom of Helmcken Falls when freezing temperatures provided the perfect conditions for the free-falling water to be transformed in this incredible and magical spectacle.
📷 @mounntaingoat
www.instagram.com/mounntaingoat/?hl=en
you can make posts that are anti lawns and pro biodiversity without downplaying the real, terrible danger that ticks pose
ALT[id in alt]
tags by @eatyourdamnpears
Yes, what really infuriates me, is when those posts will mention ticks, then wave them off. like go 'oh these dumb people think any taller grass is a danger to neighborhood aesthetics and full of tics' as if the two are in any way equivalent, and then, cruelly and dangerously, leave it at that, as if ticks are a made up problem. or they'll use their image in their memes as a boogeyman then ignore any concerns.
My point isn't AT ALL 'lawns are better because ticks', there can be a middle ground. There are things like bug spray and ultrasonic repellent devices, neither of which are 100% effective, so the most important thing is always looking over yourself/your family, especially on your scalp, after you've been in a risky area. Lyme is stored in ticks' intestines, not their saliva, so if the tick is removed within a day or two, the risk of infection is low. I know someone who sent a tick for testing, and it came back positive for lyme, but since they removed it fast, they don't have it (had every test possible) however other tick-borne diseases like encephalitis (brain inflamation, sometimes deadly) are in their saliva and will infect you immediately, so I absolutely don't want you to think it's fine to get ticks as long as you get rid of them fast. it's better to get rid of them fast, send them for testing, and probably get on preventative antibiotics for a couple of weeks, because if caught early, lyme is treatable, even curable.
So it's all about a reasonable balance. Yes we need to restore biodiversity, but it's not without risks. is the lawn somewhere children play unsupervised every day? Somewhere you often walk barefoot? do you live in an at-risk area, or near woods with wild animals like deer who can infect ticks? then keep it to short grass. Conversely, large swathes of unused land, or tiny patches of decorative grass in the middle of a city that no one ever walks on, hiking spots where you only go with appropriate gear and bug spray, maybe even a designated spot in your backyard if you live far from wild animals, can and should be used to restore native plants as tall as you wish.
Also I would love it if people who don't have lyme actually reblogged this too lol. This is a horrendous illness, that affects every part of your body, that ruined my life and killed comrade leslie feinberg, and you need an appropriate level of fear to stay safe from it.
ppl who get critical of like… white middle class extinction rebellion protestors and like… jane fonda, because “they can afford to get arrested” like… that is the point? the point is to use your privilege to put yourself in the way of things. if you are white and middle class in the u.s. and the u.k. you can occupy waterloo bridge, or city hall, or the capitol steps, and you can refuse to move when a cop tells you to, and the worst thing that will happen to you is a fine you can afford to pay. (you might also sustain some injuries, to be fair we must acknowledge that that is not negligible.) the point is you cause disruption by putting your privileged body in the way, where you create disruption that forces attention to be drawn to what you are saying, and you do this because you can afford to. if you are jane fonda you also wear a jaunty hat and smile smugly because you are the safest person on earth, and also it makes the cops look real dumb. it’s the point!
it’s DIRT
unmute for comically aggrieved farmer
reblogging for the second time because I still laugh uncontrollably. in my mind the cows are trying to be gracious about their strange gift. ‘yes we love it thank u’
@diseonfire future?
I know I literally just reblogged this but I love this video so much it always makes me laugh because
1. “LADIES”
2. The very disappointed “Eclair…”
3. “WHAT?” (High pitched mooing in response)
4. The way they turn into Pleakley from Lilo and Stitch as they get progressively more frustrated
This country claims to be democratic but 9 unelected people who's values and opinions formed decades prior, who can get into this position without strong or even any valid credentials, can decide to negatively impact or even destroy millions of lives and they cannot be held accountable for it. They can't be impeached or voted out. It's only the most convoluted combination of election-year voting, voter suppression/lack thereof, and idk fucking cowardice from both sides that got any of them to where they are now. 9 people who are cemented in their beliefs and then use the law and constitution to justify their moral opinions that they insist don't influence their rulings at all. We can't vote then out. We just have to hope they retire or die under the presidency of someone who doesn't want to actively kill everything, and eve then we have to contend with any given republican or spineless Democrat in the Senate.
And even then, we cannot get rid of them. Nine people make decisions for 300+ million, affecting their ability to defend themselves, to live peacefully, to lead healthy and happy and safe lives. Nine people can ruin lives for decades to come.
Nine people. Nine. People.
That’s fine until you get a spiral horse
Those dumb fuckers don’t even know about Corkscrew Horse
Corkse
Goofy walks into the men’s changing room
Honestly out of all the extremely stupid reblog chains I’ve been a part of on this website this one is by far my favorite. I think we did a great job here and should hit the showers.
there's so much pathologizing over why enemies to lovers is a popular trope (something something the normalization of abuse something something) when the simplest and less moronic answer is that narratives thrive on irony and reversals, and there's no greater irony than characters going from hating each other's guts to loving each other unconditionally. raw thesis-antithesis-synthesis.